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Week 1. Nsg = nursing

8am's a little early to be watching a dick bath on a large projector screen, but one cannot be shy in nursing.

In the afternoon, everyone will give Tiresias, old rubber man with wrinkled dugs and two options for genitalia, a full bed bath. Also, turn him without breaking his leg off and change his bed with him in it, hospital corners and all. Perform oral care, taking extra care with dentures.

We also take one another's pulse, blood pressure, and respiration, and the vitals of the incredible, programmable, $160k, wifi-enabled, anatomically-functioning man-doll hooked up to a monitor in the mock ICU.

In another room, we practice restraining one another, to a wheelchair or hospital bed.
But every one of us is Houndini.

And this happens--twice.
"Ms. Chao, do you remember me?"
Oh no, here it comes.
"I was in your Engl 1A. It was a really long time ago."

One knows one taught community college too long (and hasn't stayed away long enough) when one goes back to nursing school and not one, but two members of one's cohort are former students.


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