Hello Kitty Maternity Hospital

I found the Hello Kitty Maternity Hospital! It's in Yuanlin, Taiwan.

No, it's not a theme park. You have to actually get pregnant and be pretty close to popping to check in. (It's not too late, N!)


Forget anchor babies; you can now give birth in a lavender and pink millionaire mansion in Taiwan, surrounded by mouthless cats by Sanrio.


Not a bad hallway to pace up and down while you're trying to move things along during labor.

Just visualize your baby's head crowning, dilating (or ripping) you to 10 cm+ diameter while Hello Kitty wordlessly, creepily shines on you from above.


10 out of 10 pain? Distract yourself by thinking about all the cute things your visitors will buy you and your baby from the gift shop!


Preemie? No problem. These aren't actors; they are real doctors and nurses. They wear surgical masks at all times while giving each other side-eye. 

You have to choose between pink or blue blankets, though. Hello Kitty no understand gender neutral.


A long-lost tradition I dared not dream of when I was oozing grape jelly from my crooked C-section site with one loosening staple while wrangling my newborn day and night in my hospital room...THE NURSERY, or "Baby Room," since we're very literal about our translations in Taiwan.


No rooming-in or couplet care here--Mama gets pampered (and so does baby, literally, in the NURSERY, by a NURSE)! 


Just look at these perfect postpartum meals designed by nutritionists and specialty chefs, incorporating Chinese medicine, high-protein, low-sodium and organic ingredients. (Hey, where's the Hello Kitty fishcake?)


Looks like a department store, but is actually a hospital/nursery/postpartum center, chandelier and all (are chandeliers safe?) 

If this whole finding-a-job-at-Mercy thing doesn't work out, I'm going back to Taiwan. To be a Hello Kitty OB nurse.

Comments

  1. Hi,


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    We're at Kims Cuddles, a reputed hospital for mother and child care with dedicated staff for complete nourishment, holistic care with finest facilities for the conceiving mothers. Find us online for question related to appointment.

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