Some Tips from Orientation

No canvas shoes; blood and urine will spill.

No jewelry besides flat wedding bands, unless you like the image of mashing diamonds in the microbial-habitat equivalent of raw hamburger meat. Protruding jewelry might snag elderly patient skin. No facial piercings; nurses will rat you out in a heartbeat.

Do not violate HIPAA.

Do not engage in criminal activities. Even when you’re not a nurse, you’re still a nurse. They’ll make you go through hell to get your license back, if you ever get it back.

Get CPR-certified, vaccinated, background-checked and drug-screened.

There may be times when you’re willing to pay $80 for a hotel room just so you can get a few hours’ sleep.

ATI, ATI, ATI.

Keep textbooks handy in your car.

Spend time with your family this summer--they won't see you for two years.

If reading poetry under the conference table can get you through orientation, it will probably get you through the RN program.